| Someone wrote, |
I love all the background on the Malfoy family in this story! All very fascinating. As are all the original characters - it doesn't feel at all like the new characters being introduced take the fic farther away from the universe Rowling set up. Lady Evadne (who was a more beautiful and more terrible version of Narcissa!), Flavia and the girl in the tiny golden picture frame - they sort of pulled me deeper into it, rather. I'm no expert at literature, but I just want to say that I like your writing.
For example:
The Malfoys had never been a particularly liberal family...
I hate you. You’re going to fall. I’m going to make sure of it. I’m going to watch you ground to dust. I swear on my ancestors’ bones, I will see you die.
These lines made my breath catch.
Also, the whole Draco in Snape's rooms scene amused me and gave me a sudden craving for Snape/Draco. Horrifying and yet intriguing. Except all the possibilities and excitement died with Lucius' my-son-is-dead line and refusal to address or even look at Draco. Agonizing. I love that you presented the stance of Purebloods on werewolves and the rationale behind it. And the distinction between those the Purebloods who call them werewolves and those who called them lycanthropes! This never occurred to me, and the whole idea made me sigh happily and enviously. You painted such a rich portrait of their society, it was such a disappointment when I hit the scroll down button and the page refused to show anything else. I wanted it to keep going on and on..
Ahem, moving on.
She couldn’t have been any older than ten or eleven, but the command in her voice was well practiced.
Wow, it's impressive just how much this one sentence can reveal. I love the imagery of the girl in the frame - haughty and privileged, but all the same so transparently needy.
Harry had never been good at obeying orders.
Ahahaha. I love this Harry.
In summary: I love this, I've been refreshing your page with a fequency that is really sort of embarrassing, and I'm sorry for the deluge of words and the amount of space this comment must be taking up.
For example:
The Malfoys had never been a particularly liberal family...
I hate you. You’re going to fall. I’m going to make sure of it. I’m going to watch you ground to dust. I swear on my ancestors’ bones, I will see you die.
These lines made my breath catch.
Also, the whole Draco in Snape's rooms scene amused me and gave me a sudden craving for Snape/Draco. Horrifying and yet intriguing. Except all the possibilities and excitement died with Lucius' my-son-is-dead line and refusal to address or even look at Draco. Agonizing. I love that you presented the stance of Purebloods on werewolves and the rationale behind it. And the distinction between those the Purebloods who call them werewolves and those who called them lycanthropes! This never occurred to me, and the whole idea made me sigh happily and enviously. You painted such a rich portrait of their society, it was such a disappointment when I hit the scroll down button and the page refused to show anything else. I wanted it to keep going on and on..
Ahem, moving on.
She couldn’t have been any older than ten or eleven, but the command in her voice was well practiced.
Wow, it's impressive just how much this one sentence can reveal. I love the imagery of the girl in the frame - haughty and privileged, but all the same so transparently needy.
Harry had never been good at obeying orders.
Ahahaha. I love this Harry.
In summary: I love this, I've been refreshing your page with a fequency that is really sort of embarrassing, and I'm sorry for the deluge of words and the amount of space this comment must be taking up.